the smoking vegans

I had an interesting conversation with jsteak a few nights back, and never had a chance to report. Thankfully, I'm around the internet for a few moments, so you get a brand spanking new post. Apparently, she explained, we’re not vegan. This according to some forum user over at Vegan Freak HQ. At first I was incensed, but after we talked some more about it, I think I understand. They’re right. We’re not vegan.

Except I don’t understand, and they’re not right. The argument was that as cigarettes are tested on animals, smoking cigarettes makes one not vegan. First of all, not all cigarettes are tested on animals. Frankly, I think this is besides the point. But let’s say that using products tested on animals makes someone not vegan. If we take this as true, then there are no vegans. None. Not any. Zilch. Because almost everything is tested on animals. Pharmaceuticals, detergents, even vegetable cooking oils are all animal tested.

And here’s the thing about people who make worn-out, banal, asinine comments to the effect of “smoking isn’t vegan”: these people are not only assholes, but really pompous assholes. Allow me to expound. In the act of not smoking, you accomplish nothing beyond affecting your personal health. Do I feel better that I smoke a brand of cigarettes not tested on animals? Sometimes. But I don’t delude myself by thinking it’s actually saving any. In fact, the same can be said about veganism as a whole. There are more vegans than ever today. There are also more animals being slaughtered than ever. Clearly, being vegan isn’t enough. It needs to be combined with public outreach, direct action, and anti-capitalism. For some people though, moral pompousness is enough. For self-congratulatory fuckwits like you fine folks, being vegan, not smoking, and everything else they do, has but one purpose: to make you feel good about yourself as a substitute for actually challenging any real structures of oppression. In fact, everything you do is geared towards this. Not smoking does absolutely nothing to make the world better. For you, it’s just a superiority trip. Don’t kid yourself. You’re not the next Rosa Parks, you’re just some smug sod who needs to get their feel-good fix.

Next time, try jerking off instead.

Incidentally, I’m done being apologetic about smoking. Do you have a problem with my smoking? Why don’t you go play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself. I’m not budging on this any more. It’s ridiculous. On the list of social injustices, if you rank smoking on it at all, let alone in a high-up place, that’s because you are either a total moron or a loser virgin.